I was looking through my posts recently and noticed 90% of them was about my ailments. What’s up with that? Well, honestly it is what has been foremost on my mind the last few months. So for this entry I’ve decided to write about something that has nothing to do with how bad I feel or any research I’ve done on any of my various “issues”, if I can. If something pops out I’m sorry – please overlook it.
This morning I woke up actually feeling pretty good. Of course, I hadn’t lifted my head off the pillow yet. But that was still a good feeling. I decided maybe I could make it to church today. I can’t even remember the last time I was up to going. So, I took a good little while to get ready so I didn’t have to feel rushed. I made it all the way through getting my shoes on and realized “by george, I’m actually gonna make it – it is a miracle”. HAHA
It felt so good to just walk into the building. I could feel a burden lift. When I went in the sanctuary and got to my regular seat and began to sing I thought my Spirit would jump right out of my chest. I’m sure I had a huge smile plastered on my face. I just wanted to look around and see if everyone else looked as excited and happy to be there as I was. I think we take these things for granted. We take for granted the fact that we go to church at all – even that we have a church to go to. I felt absolute joy opening my mouth and singing praise to my God, who had not forgotten about me. I was wondering if anyone would remember who I was actually. Honestly, I was wondering if God even remembered who I was. But I didn’t need to worry about that after all. He was still there right where He had always been – right in my heart. And while I could worship Him from anywhere there isn’t a feeling quite like worshiping Him in HIS house.
I’m not sure there was another person there who was happier to be there than I was. While I have gone to church my entire life today felt different. You know that feeling you get when you’ve been on a long vacation and you finally pull into your own driveway and walk in the door of your own house? That’s the feeling I had. I hope that everyone could see the joy on my face. Because I felt it radiating from the inside out.
Now I am back home and in the bed – worn out from the morning at church and afternoon out to lunch with my family (and Hannah, Michael’s girlfriend). But this is a kind of happy worn out feeling. I wore myself out being normal worshiping in church and enjoying my family. That’s the best kind of worn out a girl can get.