Am I A Friend Who Is Really A Friend? Are You? #NaBloPoMo

I came across this quote this weekend while reading blogs.  I found it over at Harassed Mom‘s blog.  I found her through the NaBloPoMo site.  We are NaBloPoMo buddies.  She has some really thought provoking questions on her blog for today.  After you read mine – OBVIOUSLY – jump over to her’s and see what she asks.  Tough ones!

Ok, the quote!  It is so good!  And it is so true!  It speaks to me in a real way right now for several reasons.  It’s a quote from Plato.  Even a man born in Athens in 347 B.C. knew something many people don’t understand in 2011.

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. – Plato

WOW!  Why is it so difficult for us to be “real” friends today?  Is it that we aren’t surrounded by people who know how to put others above ourselves?  In what world is it ok to love self more than others?  I guess I’ve really learned a lot about friendship in the last 18 months.  How does one we call “friend” not text or contact a friend in the days when they are going through something in their life that could be forever life altering?  It’s times like what I’ve been through that you really learn who your true friends are – who your REAL friends are.  I have challenged myself since all that has happened in the last 18 months to put myself aside to show how much I care about friends I love.  It’s disappointing and heartbreaking to think about how much you must truly mean to someone when you are going through the worst time of your entire life thus far and not receive any contact from those who call you “friend” for days or weeks at a time.  Really?

If I have learned one thing (and I have honestly learned enough to write a book) it is who my true friends are.  If I expect to have friends I must show myself friendly. I have to be to others what I expect for them to be to me.  Proverbs 18:24 says if I want to have friends then I have to show myself as friendly.  I am learning more and more about what that means.  And I’m also learning more and more about what that does NOT mean and THAT is painful!  But at the same time I would rather know who my real friends are.  Life is too short to allow people into your heart who are not honest and true.  I’m cleaning out the cobwebs and making room for true friends. Are your friends honest and true? Do you have some cobwebs to clean out too?

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11 thoughts on “Am I A Friend Who Is Really A Friend? Are You? #NaBloPoMo

  1. I have learned that regardless of our circumstances we live in a society that dictates “me first” it’s all about me! We have to break out of that mold and find ways to change our focus. No, I don’t have a chronic illness but I do have the invisible situation of living alone and not by choice. I have to make all the decisions, arrange for any repairs, figure out the budget, do all the banking etc. I choose what to watch on TV, when to go to bed, what to eat, and how to spend my money and time. Sounds good to some but it gets old real fast! It is so easy to focus on what I WANT and not on what someone else NEEDS. I feel many of the same emotions that you feel but they do me no good. I have learned not to have expectations and to rely on my Lord. Same as those with chronic illnesses – right? We are told that to have a friend, you have to be a friend – easier said than done! I am choosing to monitor who I am around (avoiding those who steal my joy) and monitor what I put into my mind (watching what I watch on TV and read in print) I watch for open doors to be of service to others but realize that offering to help doesn’t always mean they will accept that help and that is not a reflection on me – just means that they either didn’t really need or want help or just can’t bring themselves to accept it. So for now I will continue to avoid media that pulls me down or consumes me with negative thoughts. I said all that to say that your circumstances while they may alter your life, don’t have to dictate your life. We can all choose joy over sorrow and misery. Check out the website – this is a lady who has greatly influenced my life and is my closest friend

    • thank you, laura. you certainly learn who your real friends are when you go thru the worst time of your life and you see who reaches out and who doesn’t. and i am not making reference to the last year that i have been sick. i am referring to times in the last year when i had no idea if my father was going to live or die and certain people failed to contact me to say hello or ask how he was. it certainly makes me eternally grateful for those that did. some of them i did not even know beyond a hello and goodbye.

      thank you for sharing with me. you are blessaed to have joanie in your life.

      pam

  2. Sorry you’ve had to go through this pain! I too had an experience where I found out who my true friends were, after being unexpectedly hospitalized and finding out I would need surgery. It hurts so much to find out someone you thought of as a close friend really doesn’t care. The positive that comes from the realization is that you can weed out those who aren’t really a meaningful part of your life and stop wasting your energy on them. Of course, even that process is painful and sad. *hugs*

  3. I definitely have major cobwebs!

    I havent been a very good friend recently and have vowed this year to do better!

    It is hard though because I have to admit that I have flaws and faults and that I messed up!

    (thanks for the link back)

  4. You know, Pam, there are some very insightful things in this blog post. I appreciate you sharing them. I, too, have wondered who my true friends are at times. There were times in college I would sit at an empty table to see if anyone would sit with me. More recently, there have been times I have gone a couple of weeks without calling a friend to see if they would actually call me. Sometimes, the results hurt.

    Thank you for being a friend.

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