Children Are The Anchors That Hold A Mother To Life

As a mother I have always heard that we should be our teenagers parent and not their friend. I’ve never really completely understood that. The opposite of friend is enemy. I surely don’t want to be their enemy. So I have worked hard to cultivate a genuine friendship with each of my children. It just seems natural to me that the best way to parent is to do so from the standpoint as a friend. So I can’t say that I agree with the view that you shouldn’t be your child’s friend. If that makes me a bad parent then I’ll just have to pay my dues to that club.

Since we hit the teenage years and I have gotten past the shock of the vast difference in parenting style I have made it a point to try to be my kids’ friend. They key is to learn how to merge both parent and friend. As a friend I gain the closeness necessary to stay in their circle so that I am available to them for anything and everything. When the parent in me needs to step in I feel like there is more of an open door of dialog so that we can talk calmly and rationally about the situation with respect on both sides. Sure there are times that I want to say “do this because I said so”. However, that rarely goes over well. They deserve the time it takes to sit down together and discuss the “ifs, ands, buts, whys” of whatever the topic of discussion is. I find that disciplining them in a respectful way from the position of parent/friend not only helps them to feel respected but also teaches them how to treat others as well.

So that is why I consider my children not ONLY my children but also my friends. We have fun together. We laugh a lot. We pick on one another. We like spending time together. We have spent 16 & 17 years cultivating not only a parent/child relationship but a parent/child friendship as well. Finding the line where one starts and the other ends can be challenging and the journey isn’t always easy but once you figure it out it is so rewarding.

Please, meet two of my best friends:

HIking at Fall Creek Falls State Park

Out For An Afternoon Of Shopping And Lunch

Laying Out In The Sun Together

Taking In A Cincinnati Reds Baseball Game

I have a billion more pictures of me having fun with my children. Baseball games, hiking, shopping, laying out – all activities that friends do! Activities that I do with my children because we are friends!

“Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life.” – Sophocles

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3 thoughts on “Children Are The Anchors That Hold A Mother To Life

  1. What works for you and your kids is what’s important. I don’t see my kids as my friends, but I know they see my husband and me as such. It’s a great feeling, knowing our kids trust us and feel supported, isn’t it?

    • That is the most important part – making sure that they feel they can trust us and feel supported. I just want you to know that I really enjoy being in your “circle”. I appreciate your friendship here in blogland.

  2. I really like your style of parenting. My child is only four but every day he, my husband and I all tell each other we are all best friends.

    I hope I can always keep that up and find the balance as he gets older.

    Love the quote too. As you know, who knows where I would be without my child to keep me anchored to life?

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