Alone And Left Out

Earlier in the week I got an email with Mama Kat‘s writing prompts for the week. One of them jumped out at me right away. I wish it hadn’t but it did. Each week she sends five prompts for the week. Sometimes when I have writers block I will use one. I don’t have writer’s block but I feel led to write on this one so I am making it my NaBloPoMo entry for today. It is Describe a time when you felt left out.

I think the easier prompt to write about would be to describe a time when you didn’t feel left out. I feel left out a lot. I always have. I don’t have the best self-esteem so my feelings get hurt easily although I try hard not to let it happen.  I think that is why I always cheer for the underdog. I feel sorry for those who find themselves alone or on the losers bench because I can identify so well with them.

I find myself watching groups of friends laughing and talking and wonder what is wrong with me that I’m not included in their group. I hear about women who get together for fun game nights (like Bunco) and wonder why I have never been asked to join them. I hear about couples who get together for dinner/potlucks and wonder why Ron and I are so rarely invited to participate as well. We have invited friends over for game nights or for an evening out to dinner. When the invitations are accepted we always seem to have such a good time. But then the invitations are never reciprocated with an invitation again.

I have watched many friends appear to enjoy my company and yet never include me in their plans. When a friend tells me about what a great time she had with X, Y and Z on Friday night quite often the first thought that pops in my head is why didn’t you think to invite me or why don’t you ask me to do anything or go anywhere. Sometimes it is a friend that is a close friend. I ask myself why they always seem to have time for this group of friends but never seem to make time for me.

This is the painful side of being me. It’s also an honest part of who I am. Honesty is often painful. I can imagine how this might come across – as whining. But sometimes a person just needs to share a part of themselves that is dark and bruised. So, Mama Kat, the time that I have felt left out is actually most of the time. And sometimes by people I wouldn’t expect to be left out by. It is one of the painful parts of having friendships and relationships with other people. I long to be included. What about me makes others not want to be with me? How can I fix it? How can I change?

Describe a time when I have felt left out……..more times then I want to think about.

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8 thoughts on “Alone And Left Out

  1. Unfortunately, I completely understand from where you come, sis. I’ve felt that way many times over.

    I wish our families lived closer together so it wouldn’t happen so often ~ to either of us!

    • It stinks! It just flat out stinks! And I have a feeling a number of people will look at this entry as whining. But it is honest. And it’s a legit part of the “friendship” topic……

      • Honesty may sometimes come across as whining. Big deal! Honesty sometimes hurts, but is necessary as we search for answers to the difficult questions of life and relationships.

        Hang tough, sis~ the Hunters still rock! All of you!

  2. I feel that way ALL the time. I have many many “Friends and acquaintances” but nobody seems to want to spend actual time with me. They are fine to chat in the hall at church or make a funny comment on Facebook. I am always hearing how they get together with other people in our church – some of whom live father PAST me, so I know the “you live so far away” excuse is a lie. I also have invited people over and never got a reciprocating invite. The thing that bothers me the most is that my 2 siblings who also go to our church with their families will get invited to things but I will not. I don’t understand it. And when I HAVE talked to people about it, they say that I am imagining it, or that people thought I would be too busy, or wouldn’t be interested. But that can’t be true b/c I NEVER say or act that way.
    So… I go through long periods of time where I give up and then periods where I invite everyone over to show that I am “open and willing” for friends.
    I know that I am fun, funny, a good listener (I don’t talk people’s ears off) and not judgemental – and people have TOLD me these things too – so I cannot for the life of me imagine why I get left out.
    Okay that is my vent! I just said all that to say – I don’t know if there is even a REASON sometimes why these things happen, but I feel like it can’t be YOU or ME! 🙂
    Hang in there!!!

    • Awwwww – I luv you, mama!! 🙂 I’m actually going out with a friend tonight. Maybe I’ll ask her about it. Although she is one of the ones I was referring to. So……

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