A Scar That Cannot Be Removed By Hope

I have been rolling around some ideas in my mind for my blog this morning. Most of what I want to say I have already said before a number of times – just in different ways. Ron is rubbing off on me in that respect. He OVER explains things constantly. This weekend I have gone from the high of spending a day bonding with my daughter to the low of feeling left out and rejected by a friend. Is that a roller coaster or what? I normally like roller coasters. The roller coasters that I do NOT like are the emotional ones.

Have you ever had one of those friends who you think you couldn’t be closer to? They make you feel like you are the only friend who really matters….until the next friend rolls in and they forget all about you. Yes, I am 43 years old and still get my feelings hurt by the rejection of a friend. And the thing is that I let it happen over and over and over again. Why can’t I just emotionally cut the line? I’m guessing it may be because I have so few close friends (3 counting this person). Letting one of them go is like cutting a vein. Do I realize I would be better off without them? Yes! I would be so much happier to not have to worry about how many different ways I am being forgotten or rejected in any given day. YES! So why is is so hard???

I think of those in abusive relationship who make excuses for the abuser and refuse to leave them. I have a different view of their situation now than I did before. What I don’t understand is WHY. Why does it hurt so much to walk away and move forward? Every time this happens I tell myself “this is it! I’m done!”. Yet I get drawn back in – initially by guilt and then by hope. I want to walk away from the pain and hurt. But the hope that things will be different is so strong – even when the mind knows it really isn’t going to change.

Thomas Hardy said “The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.” I believe that describes it perfectly. This friendship has left a scar that cannot be removed by hope.


15 thoughts on “A Scar That Cannot Be Removed By Hope

  1. This breaks my heart. I think this is something you’ve got to *stay* in prayer about for a good length of time, or until you feel you know what, if anything, should be done. I agree, you get pulled back in with a strong sense of hope, just to have it happen all over again. I love you and support you in anything, including this. ❤ XOXO ❤

  2. Pam, I can totally relate with your feelings of hurt in this situation. I’ve had similar hurts from friends and it is no fun. Prayin’ with ya, sis!

  3. I’m so sorry you’re feeling deeply hurt by a friend. You’re not alone. I had that happen to me about a year ago and had to cut my losses. I felt as thought I’d been used, along with just being hurt. I’m one of those people who it takes awhile to get over feeling of being hurt. It took me almost 7 months with this particular person. I wanted to move on quicker, but my heart still hurt. I hope you’re able to heal and bounce back much quicker, just know that you aren’t alone. I hope your friend realizes how great of a friend she has lost.

  4. This breaks my heart as well. Yes, if this friendship is more like a hardship you should cut the tie. Especially if it leads you to write blogs like this one. Chances are, your friend’s having the same feelings and is contemplating how to end the friendship as well.

    You ending things may be a blessing for you both. Not all friends are for life. Sometimes God brings you together for a short time, and once that purpose is served, the friendship ends.

  5. Keep praying and let God give you the strength to say goodbye.

    Relationships are supposed to make your life happier and you a better person. If this isn’t the result you’re getting then I wish you the best luck in changing your circumstances.

    • You know I just realize trhat friendships change over time. Nothing stays the same. It is a normal part of life. Saying GOODBYE isn’t necessary. Just saying it’s ok for things to change is all that’s really needed. And it is ok. It’s ok for things to change. It doesn’t erase the past and it doesn’t have to determine the future. It just changes the now.

  6. very well written, pam. i love that you said “it doesn’t erase the past and it doesn’t have to determine the future. it just changes the now”. very insightful!

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