In A Word….Self-Destruction

Have you ever watched a person/family self-destruct right before your eyes and not been able to do anything to stop it? Unless you have been living in a tree or under a rock for the last couple of weeks then you have seen or heard about the whole mess that Charlie Sheen has been ranting about. He has said a whole lot of gobbledeguke and malarky. It has brought about a lot of emotions in a lot of people including me. But the emotion that has been most prevalent for me has been sadness. One particular thing he said in one interview I was watching was possibly the saddest comment of all. He said “CBS is destroying my family”. I immediately said No, Charlie YOU are destroying your family.

Have you been a bystander to the destruction of a person’s life and/or their family by their own actions? It is very sad. Very often they are involved in some situation that has slowly been causing the demise of the lives of the people they say they love the most. Most times it is a slow and painful process. Many times they begin the journey with good intentions only to get derailed somewhere along the way. Very often they end up with such a negative attitude and a heart full of bitterness that they live in denial about their situation and the role they have played in it. Nothing you, as a friend, can say will make them see the truth of what they are doing. Sadly, most of the time time, nothing a member of their own family can say will make them see what they are doing.

I have been a witness to the slow decline of a family. It is one of the saddest things I have witnessed because of my relationship with this person and their family. A number of years ago this person was a true friend of mine – for many years. However, circumstances occurred that caused them a great deal of emotional stress. While my friend was never really one to have a positive and joyful disposition they allowed these circumstances to take control of them allowing bitterness to take root. Once bitterness sets in it can overpower you. It can cause a happy person to become angry – a joyful person to become cold –  a positive person to become full of negativity – a kind person to become spiteful – a selfLESS person to become selfISH – a forgiving person to become resentful. I believe you see the pattern.

What was once a family that laughed and played together is now a family that argues and avoids one another. Outside forces have been allowed to change this person’s focus on family into a focus on anything and everything OUTSIDE of family. Christ used to be the priority in the marriage and relationships within this family. Now work has moved into the place where Christ used to reside. What happens when Christ is no longer the heart of a family? The marital relationship suffers. The parent/child relationship suffers. A person seeks out those who will agree with them and will encourage them to focus more on things outside of their family. When love is overshadowed by money relationships suffer and decline. Where compassion used to reside now resides selfishness.

In most situations like this the person doesn’t see the role they are playing in the slow demise of their family. They become blinded to what is most important in their life. A person’s family suffers emotionally but also friendships suffer. They cannot see what they are doing in the relationships in their lives and they no longer listen to those they have always depended on for advice and support. They begin surrounding themselves with people who only tell them what they want to hear. They begin depending on outside forces in their attempt to escape the pain they are in. They may start doing drugs, drinking alcohol or involving themselves in destructive relationships – all contrary to what they have always known to be true. They no longer turn to God to find help and seek the truth. They begin making their own truth and numbing themselves from the pain that is happening all around them.

While I don’t know all the facets of the relationships in Charlie Sheen’s life, what little pieces the public has been privy to has proven all of these things to be true. While it is sad to see in the life of a gifted actor it is especially hard to see in the life of someone you love in your own life. It becomes normal that they blame someone else (in Charlie’s case, CBS) for what THEY have done to those in their lives. What hurts for those of us around them (in Charlie’s case, his father) is that we have to let them figure all of this out on their own and pray it isn’t too late when they do figure it out. Sometimes they push their loved ones so far away that when they finally do figure it out they find themselves alone. Perhaps THAT is the saddest part of all.


2 thoughts on “In A Word….Self-Destruction

  1. Pam, what a sad and heart wrenching helpless feeling you must have. The Holy Spirit can work in an atmosphere of impossibilities. Trust in Him.

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