When I sit down to write why is my brain always on empty? Am I the only one who has this problem? Am I the only one who just sits down and starts typing without any idea what they are going to say? Sometimes I wonder what my brain actually looks like. I imagine it looking something like this:
There are times I really worry about what goes on in my head – or more accurately, what DOESN’T go on in my head….like thinking…..sometimes I imagine my death as occurring merely because my brain forgot how to tell the rest of my body to stay alive. Has anyone ever died from Fibro Fog?
Something occurred Sunday morning that just flabbergasted me. (I’ve never really used that word in a blog entry before but I think I kind of like it.) Bear with me here while I do some math………………..how long do you have? Never mind, I’ll use a calculator. You’re welcome! Ok we moved in this house approximately 1,672 days ago (September 21, 2006 – today). Let’s say I have taken approximately 1,600 of those days. (give me a break on the 72 days, ok? do you take a shower EVERY day?). You would think after taking approximately 1,600 showers in a 4 years and 7 months I would have learned how to turn off my shower. Wouldn’t you think that would be about right? Apparently Sunday morning the “turn off the shower” part of my brain was located in one of those holes pictured in the swiss cheese photo above. After I drug myself through the showering process – which is quite taxing at times for those of us with various chronic illnesses – such as Fibromyalgia – I proceeded to turn off the water so I could finish getting ready for church. At some point between my turning the faucet ON 10 minutes previously until the time I was ready to turn it off….SOMEONE CHANGED THE FAUCET!!!! I had NO CLUE how to turn the dadgum thing off. I rinsed my hair and turned around to turn the water off, I reached for it and promptly dropped my hand because I could not figure out how to turn it off. WHO DOES THAT??? It’s really very simple. You turn it left to turn it on and you turn it right to turn it off. I stood there staring at it asking myself….how do I turn this off?….what do I do with that handle?…I’m sure that’s where you turn it off but HOW? Geez Louise! Did I feel like a complete idiot. Eventually I figured it out. The water has not been running for 3 days waiting for me to figure it out. Thankfully!
Anyway, what are we supposed to do with this mess of a brain we have? How do you think around the holes in the cheese? Really! Am I supposed to write notes and put them all over the house about how to turn lights on and off or the shower on and off? Is that what Fibro Fog leads to? I just feel sorry for my family. Last night we were in the boonies at a soccer game. After the game I was on the phone with Ron and he asked me where I was. I had no idea! I had driven there – an hour drive. (WE WON by the way!!) But after the game I’m sitting in my truck and had no idea what town I was in. I knew the way to drive. I just didn’t know what town it was. I had to ask Lauren and even when she said it I told her that wasn’t it. Poor child! I’m sure my family thinks I have long ago lost my ever lovin’ mind! And I think they’re right!
It’s very frustrating but I have to say sometimes after the frustration passes it is comical. I mean if you don’t laugh you’ll go even crazier. So is it any wonder that I never know what I’m gonna write about until I sit down and start typing. Apparently today I’m gonna write about how holey (not holy) my brain is. Face it, it’s swiss cheese…that’s just the fact of the matter. I would imagine it could come in handy at times though – like if there is something you are supposed to do but don’t want to do….nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………ok maybe………………….
Thanks for letting me Pour My Heart Out. Jump over to Shell’s blog and share your heart.