I know I have been very quiet for the last week. I’ve been sick and in Ohio and now back home and still sick. I’m dressed and ready now to go to the doctor. I had a little bit of time left so I thought I would share something special my mail carrier brought me yesterday.
As you know, Lauren has been away at JH Ranch. I will write much more about that after she gets home Friday and starts telling us about it. But yesterday I got a letter in the mail from her. I’m sure that part of the program is to write a letter to your parents about how much you love and appreciate them. I am grateful for that as well because this letter she wrote me was just exactly what I needed to hear from her. Here is her letter:
I don’t know a more selfless, loving mom. YOu just strive over and beyond to comfort me. I don’t always let you in or give back to you, but I’m gonna try my best to change that. You deserve so much. I know on your bad days you’re so easily discouraged and you know what? God is strength. When we call on Him, He will show up. YOu’re not alone. You don’t have to be anyone except yourself because God made you perfectly. When God created all the mountains and animals and even man, He said “this isn’t enough” and created woman also. You are so special and He loves you. So do I. I’m so glad you’re my mom and on your good days it makes them so so special to me. I want you to know that I appreciate you. I miss you so much! I can’t wait to hug you and to smell you. There’s that one smell you have that I love so much and I never want to forget it. YOu’re such a strong woman, Leigh Anne Tuohy. YOu stand up for what is right. That’s very admirable. I can’t wait to see you and know that I love you. – Lauren
(Readers: The Leigh Anne Tuohy reference is an inside joke. She and her friends tell me I am just like Leigh Anne Tuohy from the movie The Blind Side.)
Oh my heavens! Does that soften a mama’s heart. She hit every insecurity I have. She spoke to every broken part of my heart and healed it with her sweet words. There are so many times I feel inadequate – racked with guilt and frustration. So often I feel forgotten, unappreciated and ignored. To know that there is any time in her life that she recognizes and speaks to that begins to heal the wounds. My girl is sweet and under that rough and tough shell there is my little girl who loves and recognizes the sacrifices made for her. How I love her! From the second she was born she held a piece of my heart with a death grip. There have been times in the last few years that I’ve felt her letting go trying to venture farther from me. I’ve had to just stand in the same place and help her see that I will always be here – standing and waiting – reserving that piece of my heart. This letter has shown me that she knows that and even remembers where that heart piece still is. She may be hundreds and hundreds of miles away from me till Friday night. But really she is right here with me – in my heart.