I have spent most of the last week in bed. Tropical Storm Lee came through here the last few days and it gave me a mind numbing headache. Oh my word! The pain!! Thankfully though I woke up this morning and the pain was much better. I did notice about 1:00 it was coming back though. So, I took some pain medicine and went back to bed. I didn’t want to make it worse again. If I thought it would do any good I would punch a hole in the wall of something. This mess makes me so mad sometimes I can’t see straight. It interferes with everything! What I especially despise is when it starts interfering with those outside of my family. A couple of weeks ago a childhood friend of mine was in town visiting with his family. We were supposed to get together. Did we? NO! Why? Because of my Fibro. Yesterday I was supposed to go to lunch with a friend. Did we go? NO! Why? Because of my Fibro. I feel like it has cost me so many important things and people in my life. And you know what’s even more aggravating? The self-imposed guilt I deal with. Everyone always says they understand and that I shouldn’t worry about it. I’m sure they really do. But I don’t! So I pile on my guilt. I feel like guilt and Fibro hold the steering wheel to my life and the rest of me just has to go where they lead.
Well, I didn’t intend for this to come out all negative and angry. But sometimes it just really makes me feel that way. It infuriates me. This illness has stolen my life. Most of the time I do pretty well with it and plug along doing what I can when I can. But then sometimes I just need to sound off about how angry it makes me. I’m sorry you had to read all of that. But this is real life. Life isn’t all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes it is thunder, lightening and skunks. That’s the truth! Today I’d like to punch it in the gut and kick it while it’s down!
Just pouring my heart out here. Sometimes that happens. I think I’ll head over to Shell’s blog and link this up and then read some other blogs where people Pour their Heart Out. Then I won’t feel like I’m the only one.