Ron called me this morning and told me that he had bought a couple of Groupon coupons last week for VHS to DVD transfers. He asked me to find our VHS home movies and number them so he could send them off. Well of course I couldn’t let them go till I watched some of them. I hadn’t watched them in years. Lauren used to like to watch them when she was little – like before kindergarten. She called them “baby movies”. She would say “let’s watch baby movies, mommy”. Considering that in those days it was either Barney or “baby movies” we watched a lot of baby movies. HAHA So today I stuck a few of them in. Of course I knew I shouldn’t have done that because I knew I would end up a crying mess. But I did it anyway. They made me so sad/happy. You know what I mean? They are both gonna graduate from high school this year and today I watched Michael learn to ride a two wheeler, Lauren compete in the Little Miss Auburndale pageant when she was 4, Michael get his first tooth pulled, Lauren in her gymnastics class pausing to wave to me and Michael, both of them putting on a “show” for the camera singing songs they learned in Sunday School and Children’s Church, Lauren learned to ride a two wheeler, watched them hunt Easter eggs when they were 2 & 3. I saw my dad and Ron baptize both of them. Then I saw us celebrate a surprise retirement party for my dad at my home church in Ohio. I led us in a song that night and I could hear dad singing along with me. That one really made me cry. After my dad had his voice box removed he has been able to preach again but he can’t sing. That’s been the hardest thing for me to accept about the whole process for him. I grew up hearing my dad sing. He LOVES to sing. But now he can’t do it. Knowing that I have to wait till I get to Heaven to hear my dad sing again is a hard thing to accept. But I heard him on that “baby movie” this afternoon. It was a beautiful sound.
So many memories, laughter and tears. Tears for the days that have gone by so fast. Tears for all those moments I wished away because I was having a rough day. If I could go back and do it all again I would take each day for the blessing that it was. I would really soak in every hug, every kiss, every smile, every “I love you Mommy”, every “watch me Mommy”. Don’t wish the days away. The days are long but the years are short. No matter how hard those long days are engrave every memory on your mind. One day you’ll wake up and they will be seniors in high school and long to be anywhere else but with you.