I am gonna write this in the hopes that certain people won’t read it. I don’t think those people care about what I have to say or whether I have a blog or not so I’m gonna be very open. (You watch, this will be the day these people decide to check me out via my social media and find themselves here. That’d be just my luck!) But I’m gonna give it a shot because the world needs to know the things I have to say. Why else would I even have a blog if I didn’t think I had vital things to say to the world? So clearly these matters need to be said.
I have an uncle who is fighting cancer. He put off doing anything about some of the symptoms he was having so long that the cancer has spread. I’m not sure how much longer he has. But he has tumors on his brain and in his lungs and lymph nodes. I was very saddened to hear this, obviously. He is my mother’s only surviving brother. Out of nine siblings there are only three left. Two others have died just in the last year alone. My uncle has two children about my age – my cousins. There is also a step-daughter who has never added anything but trouble to my Uncle’s life for years. However since my Uncle has gotten sick you would think that this step-daughter is his favored child. She has weasled her way into the family and inserted herself right into the center of the “action”. So much so that my cousin who is the primary advocate has now given her permissions to sign paperwork and make decisions. That is not sitting well with those of us who have known how she has treated my uncle in the past.
There is also another player in this round robin of events, my mother. My uncle and my mom are close in age and were close growing up. As you would expect, my mom has been by my uncle’s side from the start. She’s been at the hospital every day – sometimes the only one (except for my dad). She has spoon fed my uncle, been in close contact with his nurses, held his hand, watched his monitors, cried by his bed when he didn’t even recognize her, fluffed his pillows and talked to him about who people were so he could hold on to reality. So who do you think is getting pushed to the side by step-daughter extroidinaire? My mom!
Now I realize that my mom is not the next of kin. My two cousins are his children and obviously are the ones to make decisions on behalf of my uncle’s medical care. But how is a dying person’s own SISTER pushed to the outside as if their feelings do not matter? Do I think she has the right to over-ride decisions my cousins make? No. Do I think she has a right to know what is being done with her brother’s care? Yes! Common courtesy would tell you that if nothing else. How can they overlook her feelings? Are they really that heartless?
I think this whole thing is more about a power trip than anything else. But this isn’t the time to wield power. This is the time to comfort one another TOGETHER and bond. This is the time to grow up and act like adults with some sense in their heads and not like junior high brats who is trying to be the lead bully. If I need to go up there and take care of some business I’m not afraid to do it. I’m hoping that since my uncle was moved into a nursing home today that all of them will not be crossing paths as often and things will settle down.
But I’m gonna need everyone to back up off of my mom or they’ll have me to deal with as well. And believe me – you don’t want that to happen – even if you ARE FAMILY!!!