A Warning Within Our Spirit

There are so many things I have been wanting to blog about. But as it turns out I don’t get much visitation time with a computer these days. So I’m kind of on the schedule of “you can use the laptop when either everyone else is asleep or when everyone else is too cross eyed from using theirs that they need a break”. My desktop computer bit the dust a year ago. We bought the kids laptops for Christmas last year and of course Ron has his laptop. The problem is that now the kids have gone to college and they had the nerve to take their laptops with them. And Ron is working on his PhD program and uses his almost constantly. Yes I have an iPhone and he let’s me use his iPad, which is just an iPhone with a bigger screen. But I don’t like blogging from those devices. So, I am getting a Mac laptop of some sort for Christmas. If Ron doesn’t get it for me then I will be going and getting it myself. So yeah……all of that is just a rant and has nothing whatsoever to do with what I actually wanted to blog about. If you made it through all of that, thanks for sticking around. I’m not too sure anyone else really listens to me when I vent these days. So I greatly appreciate your making it to the end of this paragraph.

Now, on with what I actually have on my mind. I’m going to assume that my children are too mortified to actually come to my blog much less read anything I might write for fear I might mention them. Little do they know that this entire blog – from day 1 – is all about them. So I feel safe in writing about what I’m troubled about these days. Have your children ever had a friend or friends that you did not like? And I’m not just talking about you didn’t like that they didn’t say “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am”. I’m talking about something about them just rubs you the wrong way. You can’t quite put your finger on it but you just feel deep in your spirit that they just aren’t a good match in the friend department for your child. Maybe you don’t like the way they treat other adults. Maybe they seem “fishy” to you. Maybe you get the feeling that they aren’t quite who they appear to be. Maybe they are completely the opposite of who you’ve taught your child to be. You have to wonder to yourself what attracted your child to this person in the first place.

That’s kind of where we are right now. Well, that’s kind of where we’ve been for a number of months now. I keep hoping this person will just kind of disappear off the radar and drift on to the next person. But this person is still hanging around. Every other friend our children have had has always had a great relationship with us. We are the kinds of parents who open our home to the kids and their friends. This was always the hang out spot. All through high school I’ve always tried to be available to their friends as a second mom – available for advice, a ride to a game, a meal if they were hungry, a hug if they needed one – just always available to them. While I may have only had two children I always had many more who called me mom. But this one kid has never made any effort to come around. That always seemed strange to me.

This child’s values are completely the opposite of ALL the values we’ve ever taught our children. I just cannot see the attraction. We’ve had numerous talks with our child explaining our concerns – firstly in a concerned manner and then each time more and more forcefully. It’s as if our warnings and concerns go in one ear and out the other. It’s like nothing we say really matters. Our child listens to us because they have to. They placate us with “we’re just friends”. And then things go right back to the way they’ve been for months. Ron and I firmly believe the warnings within our spirit about this kid and this relationship are from the Spirit. But our child is now an adult and we cannot make him/her do what we say. We have prayed – and continue to pray. We know at this point the Lord is the one who is gonna have to get the message across. We don’t know anything else we can do.

I think why I have shared this is to ask you, my readers, to partner with us in prayer that this bond will be broken. And to ask if you have any advice that we have not tried. But at this point we just covet your prayers! Thank you!

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8 thoughts on “A Warning Within Our Spirit

  1. My children are 4 1/2 & nearly 8 and we’re already dealing with issues like this. Thankfully, I still have some level of control over who my children hang out with. But, it’s still tough when they ask about the friend that we feel brings out the worst in our own children. We do have to trust that inner voice! Best of luck to you on this challenging journey.

  2. praying about this. you know our story. but your child is at least geographically separated from the friend, if i’m thinking right.

    • I do think of your situation quite often. I know that was gut wrenching for you. Hopefully mine will not get that far. Lord knows what would happen. I’d for sure wind up in the psych ward!

  3. I’m going thru the same thing. It has been spilling over into disrespect to me. I’ve given multiple opportunities for improvements in howbim being treated. Yesterday I cut the phone off and went ans picked up the car. There was no reaction whatsoever. I have never felt such pain . I completely broke down when I took these actions. Since I have never seen this behavior before, I am terrified whether or not I’m doing the right thing and losing her forever. It’s like everything I instilled in her is gone! I’m so scared so please let me know if you find s better solution.

    • I would just be heartsick Lisa! Our children just have no idea how much they hurt us. Or else they do know and just don’t care – which hurts worse. I will certainly include your situation in my prayers as well.

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