Let your roots grow down into Christ Jesus, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Colossians 2:7 (NLT)
In preparing for tomorrow’s Bible study, I began reading chapters 5 & 6 in So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore the beginning of the week. Because my brain moves slower than your average brain I don’t work ahead like most Bible study leaders. I am usually doing the study probably right about the same time as my students are, about the last minute. There was a lot of reading this week so I started it Monday night and finished it around 1:00 this afternoon. Then I began actually doing the workbook after that. I have a few questions I haven’t finished yet, because they are very thought provoking, and will either finish them tonight or early in the morning when I get up. If I worked ahead of time I would forget everything and have to pretty much redo it on this schedule anyway. So now you know how a woman with a Fibro Fogged brain has to prepare to teach a Bible Study.
At any rate, this week’s reading was very thought provoking. There were so many good parts that I pretty much underlined most of the chapters. The title of this week’s study is Digging Deep and boy is that accurate. I’m really going to have to be careful not to spend the whole time doing all the talking myself. The entire study could easily be like a counseling session for me. It provides us with various suggestions in helping us discover the origins of our insecurities. Basically it narrows down all the possible starting points of the insecurities that have been on our tail our whole life. Some people are of the frame of mind that there’s no need to look back and dwell on the past because you can’t change it anyway. That’s why a lot of people don’t “believe” in therapy/counseling. But I have learned in my experience that it IS helpful to go back and find the catalyst so that you can better understand why you respond to things the way you do. I’ve done that a number of times in my life and have discovered that so many things that have dogged me and made me miserable in the here and now no longer have to have a hold on me. Once I can get to the root of them – see where/why/how they started – then it takes the power away from them and I am able to stand up to them. It’s kind of like forgiving someone. You don’t forgive someone so much for the other person but you do it for yourself so that you can take back the power that said person had over you.
Beth spent chapters 5 & 6 of So Long Insecurity discussing eight roots of insecurity. I’m going to list them here with examples in parenthesis to give you a brief overview. I would dare say you will find a few that you identify with.
- Instability in the home (including various types of abuse, divorce, substance abuse by a parent, mental or physical illness in the home, financial instability)
- Significant loss (of a person, a home, a relationship)
- Rejection (from a parent, friend, spouse, child, boyfriend)
- Dramatic change (accident, financial crisis, even positive changes like a move or a new baby)
- Personal limitations (learning disability, physical handicap, scar, acne)
- Personal disposition and temperament
- Our culture and the pressure it puts on women to be young and beautiful
I’m going to choose one that I really learned something amazing from and expand on it. I would love to expand on them all but if I did this post would end up way longer than anyone would want to read – no matter how good it is.
One point she made under the Rejection category was about “Perceived” Rejection. I was drawn to that point because I am so bad at perceiving and assuming things that are so far from reality they aren’t even on the same planet. Think about it! You are on the outside of the popular group in school. You watch them day after day, class after class, game after game, lunch after lunch….they never speak to you and you never really speak to them. But in your mind you start thinking of their actions as being exclusive of you. After so long you begin to think of them as rejecting you when in all reality they just have their group of friends and you have your group of friends. A couple of years before it made no difference to you. But over time you have given it TOO MUCH thought and have created this division in your mind. So you have perceived and assumed your way into feeling rejected.
This point hit me because of how I felt ignored and rejected by my dad when I was a child. But since becoming an adult – especially after reading this today – I realized that the rejection I felt was perceived rejection because he never actually turned me away or abandoned me. What I realize now is that all of those days that he would come home from work and disappear into his study and close the door he was actually studying. He worked to get his GED as an adult. I know he took correspondence courses. He worked a full time job but taught in our children’s ministry at church. He directed the youth choir and children’s choirs. He accepted the call to preach while I was a child. So all of those years I perceived he was rejecting me he was really the hardest working man I knew. I couldn’t be a prouder daughter if I tried.
None of us escapes growing up and into adulthood without scars and wounds from somewhere. We all have insecurities that originate from somewhere. Now that we are adults though we can discover the origin and find true freedom and security through Christ. The path we walk isn’t easy. We have so many parts of our life that weighs us down. But when we search out the truth and seek honest change God can heal the hurts within.