I have mentioned here that Ron and I are doing our own Bible Study here at home on Wednesday nights. We have been hashing through some stuff. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna bore you with any of our baggage. well, maybe just some of MY baggage. Lord knows I have enough of it. Last night we covered a million miles of stuff. I told him that I wish he could live just a couple of days inside of my head to see what it’s like to live in a brain similar to swiss cheese and full of smog and fog – all of which goes along with Fibromyalgia. I find that one of the hardest things to describe. It really just seems to come across as an excuse. I understand why it could appear that way. And to be completely honest that ticks me off. Why would anyone make this up? Who COULD make this stuff up? I tried to explain is as if there is a barricade right above the top of my head that keeps any thoughts from escaping or creeping in. But the inside of the brain is best illustrated by these two pictures:
And this is what it looks like when something new tries to get through.
The body language when this is going on is similar to what you see in the movies when a patient is over drugged in one of those mental institutions and they just stare straight ahead but aren’t really looking at anything and don’t seem to hear anything going on around them.
I would love to sit down with someone who could explain to me what exactly is going on in the brain of a fibromyalga patient. Why do we get fibro fog? What does our brain look like on a given day – foggy or otherwise? What is going on up there? It feels like brain cells are dying by the thousands every single day. It’s so mysterious. Sometimes people don’t believe Fibro is a legit illness – that it’s just all in our head. Well, I would say then that that is the ONLY thing in my head. That seems to be the headquarters for the pain, fatigue and fog we experience every day. I wish there was some kind of procedure that could be done – like McDreamy does on Grey’s – that can just be zapped or burned off and destroy Fibro. It’s just such a nuisance.
Living in a fog is not really living! It’s merely existing from one day to the next whether you want to or not. Honestly I’d rather NOT!