Let’s Do This Thing

Well, the month of May has kind of puttered out with my 3 in 30 goals. As is typical for me I start strong but by the end of a goal I’m usually barely hanging on. So that seems the be the case for May as well. My goals were to do at least one load of laundry a day, meet a friend for something social at least once a week and to do some research on ways to transition my blog into a way to eventually make some money. I have touched on each of those throughout the month. So, I can’t say the month was a complete bust. But I have not been as successful as I had hoped I would be.

The laundry is my nemesis. If my life were a movie then the laundry would be the arch enemy. I have set my goal each month to be very reachable. I believe you shouldn’t set a goal too big because it would only be overwhelming and easier to give up. At least that’s the case for me. So I set easy reachable goals. At this point any kind of a plan or a hint at any kind of a schedule is an improvement for me. So while other participant’s goals may be more demanding mine are just right for me – which is kind of the point anyway.

I began 3 in 30 in February. I have participated each month except for April. Each month I have had one goal consistently the entire time – to do at least one load of laundry a day. I have not, however, yet accomplished that goal. I have managed to get laundry done each week. But my idea is that, by doing one load every day, I will eliminate the huge piles of laundry who appear to be months waiting to attack. This is a work in progress – sometimes it’s a work in REgress though. That will continue to be one of my goals until it is part of my every day existence just like breathing.

My other two goals for May were to get out once a week to meet with a friend and to begin researching way to improve my blog so that I can move into making blogging a money making venture. I must say that I have given the blog situation a lot of brain time this month. I have improved my blog by working to make it less cluttered looking. It is a continuous work in progress though. And it is no where near the money making stage yet. But the goal was to doing the research. I have done that. There is more to do. But I now have a thought process in the works.

As for meeting a friend each week, that hasn’t quite worked out as well as I had hoped. It wasn’t a flop but it didn’t quite happen as I had envisioned. I intend to continue working toward this goal because it’s one that I really need. A woman really needs to have emotional connections with other women. I’ve learned just how important that is. I’ve also learned how important it is for them to have relationships with a friend outside of their home. Being a wife and mom 24/7 is very fulfilling but it can also be very lonely. If you add in a chronic illness into that equation the loneliness is something of a different deeper level. What makes it even worse for me is that I am naturally a loner. I am an only child. So, for most of my life I have been alone. I have had friends over the years. I have even had a friend who I felt was close enough to me to call my “best friend”. However, friendships change and evolve as time goes by. That is a natural thing. It’s been that way for hundreds of years. That’s why it’s so important to have a number of friends. No person is an island. It’s not healthy for anyone to be alone. So I have been working hard emotionally and mentally to expand my friends “pool”. I must admit that I am enjoying it actually. Reaching out to others can be difficult because of the fear of rejection. But it’s worth the effort. That’s where I am right now.

I have already been working on my June goals. I have them in my mind. Here’s hoping June will be the biggest 3 in 30 success I have experienced to date. Here’s hoping the same for you as well. If you do not participate now I recommend visiting the 3 in 30 site and consider joining in. It gives you something to focus on – something that will help you reach a goal. Let’s do this thing! Let’s do this thing TOGETHER!

A Perfect Swim With The Fishes

Friday I went to Red Lobster for lunch and “swam with the fishes” and lived to tell the story! That was pretty near perfect but it wasn’t the perfect moment I’m writing about today for the Perfect Moment Monday linky. The perfect moment was who I went with. I went with my bestie, Jeanie! We have been trying to get together for weeks. But between each of us traveling the world and me feeling well enough to get out we couldn’t get a good time for it. We planned for Thursday but, of course, my fibro body said NO quite emphatically. So, we rescheduled it for Friday. We got there at 11 and we talked and talked and talked. Then we ate and ate and ate. Then we talked and ate and talked and ate. I think it is just what each of us needed. We talked about family, friends, good times, bad times, advice on the good times and advice on the bad times. You know, all the things that besties talk about when they get together.

We ordered the Lobster and Crab Dip (I think that’s what it’s called) for an appetizer. I would have seriously picked the dish up and licked it clean if I didn’t think everyone would be looking at me. I probably looked gross cramming it in my mouth so fast. It was super yummy. I think Jeanie even got to eat a little bit. Then I got the fried shrimp as my entree. So delish! She got the fried shrimp too. We pretty much rolled out of there talking and laughing. It was two hours of perfection! We are planning another lunch and maybe some shopping/movie to go along with it soon. And our families are having dinner Friday night. I love her! She makes me smile!

Me and my bestie, Jeanie

Have you had a Perfect Moment in the last week? Jump over to Lori’s blog and share it with the rest of us who are sharing our Perfect Moment Monday moments. We’d love to have you. I think you might be able to identify with some of them.

 

A Scar That Cannot Be Removed By Hope

I have been rolling around some ideas in my mind for my blog this morning. Most of what I want to say I have already said before a number of times – just in different ways. Ron is rubbing off on me in that respect. He OVER explains things constantly. This weekend I have gone from the high of spending a day bonding with my daughter to the low of feeling left out and rejected by a friend. Is that a roller coaster or what? I normally like roller coasters. The roller coasters that I do NOT like are the emotional ones.

Have you ever had one of those friends who you think you couldn’t be closer to? They make you feel like you are the only friend who really matters….until the next friend rolls in and they forget all about you. Yes, I am 43 years old and still get my feelings hurt by the rejection of a friend. And the thing is that I let it happen over and over and over again. Why can’t I just emotionally cut the line? I’m guessing it may be because I have so few close friends (3 counting this person). Letting one of them go is like cutting a vein. Do I realize I would be better off without them? Yes! I would be so much happier to not have to worry about how many different ways I am being forgotten or rejected in any given day. YES! So why is is so hard???

I think of those in abusive relationship who make excuses for the abuser and refuse to leave them. I have a different view of their situation now than I did before. What I don’t understand is WHY. Why does it hurt so much to walk away and move forward? Every time this happens I tell myself “this is it! I’m done!”. Yet I get drawn back in – initially by guilt and then by hope. I want to walk away from the pain and hurt. But the hope that things will be different is so strong – even when the mind knows it really isn’t going to change.

Thomas Hardy said “The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.” I believe that describes it perfectly. This friendship has left a scar that cannot be removed by hope.

Alone And Left Out

Earlier in the week I got an email with Mama Kat‘s writing prompts for the week. One of them jumped out at me right away. I wish it hadn’t but it did. Each week she sends five prompts for the week. Sometimes when I have writers block I will use one. I don’t have writer’s block but I feel led to write on this one so I am making it my NaBloPoMo entry for today. It is Describe a time when you felt left out.

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Children Are The Anchors That Hold A Mother To Life

As a mother I have always heard that we should be our teenagers parent and not their friend. I’ve never really completely understood that. The opposite of friend is enemy. I surely don’t want to be their enemy. So I have worked hard to cultivate a genuine friendship with each of my children. It just seems natural to me that the best way to parent is to do so from the standpoint as a friend. So I can’t say that I agree with the view that you shouldn’t be your child’s friend. If that makes me a bad parent then I’ll just have to pay my dues to that club. Continue reading

Had A Dog With A New Twitter Friend…Yummmmmm

Have made a friend but never seen them? If you have spent any time whatsoever on the internet then the answer must be yes! A few months ago I discovered a new friend on Twitter. I’m not sure now exactly what drew me to her. But I discovered that she also lives in my area. During the college football season our favorite teams played each other. Of course there was a little smack talk. Because, hey, that’s what sports fans do. My Florida State Seminoles Continue reading