In my last Bible Study series post based on Beth Moore’s study So Long, Insecurity I covered The Magic Method to Overcoming Insecurity. That “magic method” was basically to lean on the strength the Lord gives you as a Christian and work on changing the way your think. When a negative thought comes to mind immediately replace it with a promise of God. This week we will address when Satan uses friends or family members to prey on us and lead us further down a path of negativity and insecurity.
Let’s begin this week with a simple question to make you stop and think. What kind of people do you have around you? How would you characterize your closest friends/family? Are they encouragers? Do you feel uplifted after spending time with them? Or do you find yourself feeling negative – not necessarily about yourself – but just more negative in general? Do you often find that you are expending more energy (positive or negative) on their issues every time you are together so that there seems to be very little support for you and your issues? Does your relationship feel one sided and it’s not really in your favor? Be honest – are you feeling used? Is there a lot of give on your part but you walk away with very little take? Now does that make you feel more secure or less secure? When you are away from that person and really get a chance to think about your relationship with them do you ever get that little nudge that something just feels “off”? Perhaps when you are apart from them you (or your spouse) notices that you seem negative, consumed with worrying about someone else’s problems, not plugged into your life/family, depressed or just “not yourself”.
What does all of that sound like? It sounds like a person who is being controlled by another person. It sounds like your friend/family member is consuming all of your mental and emotional energy so that you have none left for your family. In chapter 13 of So Long Insecurity Beth Moore refers to these people as “emotional predators”. It’s easy to see how an emotional predator could control another person in a marriage. But if you identify with any of the questions in the previous paragraph you can see that it’s also easy to understand how a friend or other family member could easily control us as well. Sometimes it’s possible to be one of the members in this type of relationship without even knowing it. But many times a person with a controlling personality will seek out a “weaker” personality that is easily controlled and will draw them in like a spider to a web. I have been in this type of friendship. This friend was very good at manipulation. So good that it was as if I was a puppet and she was the puppet master. There were so many other unhealthy tentacles in this relationship that we could be here all night if I tried to cover it all. Let’s just say that when the “friendship” ended it did not end well. I paid the price with my heart in a million little pieces and my self esteem shot to smithereens. As I look back now I can see everything so clearly. I can see the game she played. I can see how easily I fell right into her hands. When it all came to light I surrounded myself with POSITIVE people. I buried myself into the Word of God. I refused to let satan win the battle at the hands of a heartless two faced “friend”. I recognized that she was wrong. The things she said about me were wrong. I was a good person. I refused to believe the things she tried to get me to believe about myself.
You see what I did there? I changed my surroundings. I made sure that I filled my mind with the truth. I chose to believe the truth instead of the lie. I chose to find my strength and security in Christ and no longer in a “friendship” based on lies and deceit. I truly found Christ is strong in our weakness as II Corinthians 12 says. I replaced all that negativity with truth and I climbed out of that pit. I am stronger now because of it. I am more secure in certain areas of my life because of my response to that whole experience. I would hate to see where I would be now if I had not clung to the truth. The secret to overcoming insecurity is in how your respond to it. It takes a very concentrated effort to stand up to our insecurity and face it head on and refuse to allow it any more power over you.