Where Do We Learn How To Mother?

I asked each of my family members — including my parents – what they learned from their mother. I got answers from my Michael and my mom. I thought a few moments of focusing on what a mother’s job is might help us to remember what we have learned about mothering.

Mothers are the nurturers in the parental unit. They are the ones, whether they work inside the home or outside the home, that are credited with the physical well being of taking care of the children. Traditionally if a child is sick mom is the one taking care of him. They are the ones who generally take care of the home. Many mothers have the option of staying at home in order to make those jobs easier. But some must work outside the home because of financial reasons. While hugs and kisses are wonderful pay for a stay at home mom they don’t go very far in buying groceries. Those moms who have to work outside of the home really have TWO full time jobs and should be given credit for that.

Our mothers teach us how to take care of our homes by cooking, doing laundry, taking care of younger siblings – basically how to run a home. Someone needs to teach our young people that family is the most important part of our lives. Sadly when that doesn’t happen children grow up with the idea that they are not part of a family unit and spend a lot of time searching for a group to belong to which leads to trouble. I love to bond with my kids’ friends – especially those whose parents are absent in their lives or don’t have a loving home to feel safe in. Those are the ones that I’m drawn to. I want them to see what a loving family unit looks like and how it works. Mostly to see that “home” can be a safe, fun and loving place to be. That may be why the kids at school call me Mama Hunter. This is the mom’s “job” – to be the driving force in her children’s lives. Sometimes her children are not even children she puts to bed at night in her home.

Our mothers teach us how to love, interact with the opposite sex so when it’s time for us to search for a spouse we have learned what to look for, what to say, what to do. Their job is to raise children to be good citizens, Godly spouses and Godly parents. They teach us perseverance in life with love. We all need that lesson – continuing on with life when you want to just give up. There have been times when Michael and/or Lauren have wanted to quit something they have committed to whether it’s a sport or another organized group. We have refused to let them quit. I may have been killing myself running them here and there at all hours of any day or night. But that, too, was part of the lesson. I’m willing to do my part to make sure they keep their commitment.

Unconditional love…..that should be part of the Webster’s Dictionary under the word “Mother”. We all fail those we love at some time but a mom will always love us regardless of the poor choices we make. Our children say hurtful things to us, they take us for granted, they hurt us by disobeying us but in spite of all of those things we love them unconditionally. Children learn how to love others by watching the love they see in their homes. Mothers guide that lesson. They teach us how to be sympathetic to those who are hurting, how to empathize with those around them, how to reach out and befriend the friendless and how to help those who need an extra hand. But they must see all of those things from us. We are the nurturers. We teach them how to nurture others as they are growing up and someday how to nurture their families as well.

Mothers are a blessing and a necessary part of the home. God made us that way. We spend the rest of our lives living out the lessons we have learned from our mothers growing up. I hope you say I love you every day. They give up a lot of themselves for their children. They spend a lot of their lives teaching lessons that they were created to teach. It’s our job to appreciate them and learn those lessons.

So, what lessons have you learned from your mother?

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This Is What Family Does

This month’s NaBloPoMo theme is Relatives. I agreed to participate and THEN I thought about how many days I was gonna have to write about my family. 29 days! That’s a lot of family. I then began thinking through various ways to write about family and what I might say about each one. It became a daunting task. But then I thought about what is going on around me. We have had quite the eventful month on our street.

We live in a young subdivision on a culdesac. Our culdesac makes up a wonderful group of friends who care about and support one another like family. When one of us needs something all we have to do is ask. Each home represents a branch on the family tree. I’ve always said that good friends are the family that you choose. In this case God chose each of us and planted us in houses next to each other. Now there are some “family members” who choose not to participate in “family” activities. But then that’s really not much different than a family related by blood, is it?

As I said earlier, we have had a lot going on in the court the last few weeks. One family in particular is really struggling right now. I wrote a few weeks ago about one of our neighbors whose 3 year old son had a seizure. This same family is going through another indescribably difficult time now. To remind you Katie (the mother) had thyroid cancer in the early stages of her recent pregnancy. She was able to have surgery to remove it but was unable because of the pregnancy to treat her with radiation or other treatments. A couple of months ago is when their 3 year old had the seizure, which I wrote about at the time. In the last 2 months of the same pregnancy they discovered that her cancer had come back. A week ago tomorrow she had the baby – a healthy baby girl at birth. However a couple of days later the baby began having some problems and was moved to the NICU where she is still staying. In the last couple of days her husband and their 3 year old son have come down with RSV. So, let’s get this straight Mom discovers that her cancer has returned, the healthy baby girl goes to NICU, the dad and son have RSV and is unable to visit. Katie is staying at the hospital with the baby.

And this is where our Cul-de-sac family comes in. We are currently putting together a plan for meals and a means of getting items from home to the hospital for Katie. That’s what family does! When a family member is having a crisis then the other family members step up and pick up part of the burden to make the load lighter.

I really can’t explain quite how great each member of our family is and how vital each family is to the care of the overall group. I’ve never lived somewhere like this. We are bonded. We are family. And this is what family does.

February Relatives

A new month has rolled around. I love to venture around the blog-i-verse and see what kinds of blog challenges I can find. I love participating in monthly blog challenges because it gives me a reason to write regularly and it gives me a chance to reach out to other bloggers and bond in our common goals. I still have a few challenges I want to explore today, as the first day of the new month.

But one of the writing challenges I have taken part in a number of times before is NaBloPoMo. The theme for February is “Relative”. This will give me a great opportunity to dig a little deeper in the lives of some of my relatives that I don’t get to see very often anymore. Mom & Dad, be ready for all those questions and requests for pictures. In the last year I have written about certain family members. I hope to revisit those family members as well as explore new ones. I also want to learn more about some of Ron’s relatives because they are not only my relatives now too but they are also blood relatives of our children. Someday I hope this blog will be a source of information that MIchael and Lauren can use to learn more about our family.

So I am excited to start NaBloPoMo today. I’d love for you to join us. NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month. You can find more information about it by following any of the links or clicking on the button here in this entry or the one in my sidebar. It will be up for the month of February. If you are looking for a great tool to use to get you writing then this could be it. Visit the BlogHer NaBloPoMo site and join in.

NaBloPoMo February 2012